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After two months of fretting over the GRE, I finally nailed a winning strategy:

1) don’t give a shit
2) assume that every question is trying to trick you
3) when you don’t know the answer, guess, silently smirk, and move on

It worked for me, and I’m happy with my score.  I would not wish standardized testing on my mortal enemy:

No, not even you, Charmin’ Bear…